Why am I doing this? A leap into the abyss that is the information super hi-way? Things could go terribly wrong -- maybe. What if I share myself, and everybody points and laughs?? Ok, I'm pushing 40 -- it's time to shed those silly teenage insecurities. Here I am, likey or no likey.
Mostly, I love to write. (I have written endless amounts of boring journals, why not make them public?!) Also, I love the examination of the human condition. I was an English major and a social worker. A story junkie, perhaps. And, I love my family. A deep love so scary, it exhilarates. So, it's a natural fit. In between grilling cheese sandwiches and settling sibling squabbles, I can express myself, if just a bit.
Now on the title. My original title was beautiful mess. I heard these words together for the first time in Gillian Welch's song Barroom Girls.
Well the night came undone like a party dress,
And fell at her feet in a beautiful mess.
"Ah-ha" I thought, "THAT is my life!" (not the barroom girl part, that was another life ago . . .). A 'beautiful mess'. But, my oldest daughter has come up with some great descriptive words herself, and one of them trumped Gillian. One day out of the silence of our busy work I heard a little voice say, "Mommy, I love you 'big as the sky'." As I listened to these words float from my 4-yr-old, I knew I had lived my life and never heard anything so beautiful. The phrase then morphed into the more everyday. "Mommy, I'm 'big as the sky' hungry." "C'mon girls, we're 'big as the sky' late!" Anyway, I lifted her creative art and trademarked it as my own for my new journal tossed into space.
One of my favorite tv segments was on CBS a while back called Everyone has a Story. This guy would go to a random city, pull open the phone book, close his eyes, and point to a person. He would then go to that person, and gather from them "their story" (after going through a few who slammed the door in his face screaming "pervert!!"). He ALWAYS got a story, from every person willing to share. It was amazing what was behind the walls of ordinary homes encasing seemingly ordinary lives. Stories of love, loss, guilt, shame, new beginnings, lonliness, hope, hope lost, strength, courage, kindness, you name it. Well, here is our ordinary story, bit by bit.
Hopefully it will be fun . . .
3 comments:
What a SUPER FANTASTIC first blog entry -- worlds better than my first entry. And I love the title. So perfect. But I do know that Gillian Welch song you're talking about. My husband and I are big fans. I really think you will love blogging. It is scary, though, to put yourself out there, and you will see, as you mentioned, that your inner editor screams at you as you backspace, furiously, deleting what "you absolutely cannot share publicly" even though it would be honesty and the truest part of your life. It's so wonderful to have another blogging babe to follow. You're a wonderful writer, and I can't wait to hear more of your story.
Allie, I read Mom your entire blog this afternoon. I got choked up it was so terrific. I was sorry I couldn't show her the terrific photos. I haven't been this excited since my Dad got his web cam. Keep at it.
Oh! You are so sweet! Now I'm getting choked up . . .
Thanks, Michael.
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